TESTIMONIES

Proverb 28:1
The wicked flee when no man pursueth: But the righteous are bold as a lion.

My husband's family owns a lakeshore property in Northern MN, and has for decades. We have the great blessing to go there for vacation each year. Steve's cousins came from CA, WY and the Twin Cities to join us the week of August 8-14.

The Lord gave me great courage to call two other relatives who I knew had received Jesus as their Lord and Savior recently. I asked Kevin and Lucas to partner with me one night after dinner when the whole family was together. We all shared our testimony of how we met Jesus and how our life has changed by knowing Him.

My heart was beating like crazy as I shared, then Kevin shared, and then Lucas. It was very quiet after these testimonies were given. Yet, because of the urgency of our times I knew I had to do this. People can not unhear what they heard, so I encourage you to do the same with your family as the Lord leads.

St Matthew 18:2-5
And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

St Luke 18:16-17
But Jesus called them unto him, and said, suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein.

My children were two and three years old when they started Preschool. Rasheka my daughter loved it!! She wanted to learn everything. Shalom my son, not so much. He cried everyday for a good two weeks. His big sister helped him through it. He would lay in her lap while she colored.

As the months went by I noticed when my daughter would try to write her numbers or letters one of her eyes would cross. Everytime she tried to focus on anything that one eye would cross inwardly. If she didn't focus, her eye wouldn't cross.

I started praying for her eye every night before bed, anointing her with oil. Not long after that both eyes started crossing inwardly when she tried to focus on anything. I asked the Pastor and Saints to pray, but nothing changed.

One day I was at my Mom's house and she seen Rasheka's eyes crossing when she tried to write and asked me why I hadn't taken her to an eye doctor? I told her I had health insurance but it didn't provide vision coverage. She offered to pay for the eye exam and any kind of glasses she might need. So that next week she had her eyes examined, and she picked out some cute little glasses.

So great, life goes on. I have a daughter that wears glasses. Problem solved, next issue please.

Maybe about two years later our Pastor announced we're going to have a Revival that coming week. A Minister from Oklahoma named Bro Blue would be ministering. Everyones expectations were high. Looking forward to a great time in the Lord.

One particular service Bro Blue started ministering on having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ for healing. That the Lord could heal anything, just believe. When he was finished he gave the microphone to our Pastor. Who asked if there was anyone here that wanted prayer for healing. To come up right now.

To my surprise, my daughter Rasheka jumped up and was first in line. Bro Blue prayed for her eyes and they were healed. Just that simple, she never wore her glasses again. She didn't have to. Her eyes no longer crossed when she tried to focus. Completely healed of that condition.

She walked to the front of the Church believing what she had just heard. That the Lord Jesus Christ could heal. Child like faith is pure and simple, believe and receive.

She believed, She received!!

Isaiah 41:9-10
....Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away.
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Isaiah 46:9-11
Remember the former things of old: for I am God, and there is none else; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying, My counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure: calling a ravenous bird from the east, the man that executeth my counsel from a far country: yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it.

Isaiah 53:5
....and with his stripes we are healed.

Do I believe in Divine healing? Yes, absolutely. He has healed me Divinely before. Always know that God is the healer. He will bring it to pass as it pleases Him. It's your job to believe Him through the process.

June 2019 I left work early and went straight to the hospital emergency, with bad stomach pain. I had been suffering for months with gas and mild stomach pain that would come and go. This day the pain was severe with no relief. That morning I decided to drink just water, with hopes of flushing out my system to relieve the pain, which worked in the past.

It was about 3 o'clock and I was still in the waiting room. I hadn't seen any Doctors yet, and now the pain had subsided. I was feeling better, thinking about leaving when they called my name.

All my vital signs checked out good, blood test came back good, pain gone, so they decided to do a CT Scan of my stomach, to be on the safe side before letting me go home.

After a few hours the Doctor came in, to give me the results. The first thing she said was, "Joanne, I am so sorry to tell you, that you have Stage four Colon Cancer that has spread to your Liver." We didn't say anything for a moment. Then I said, "Ok, what do we do now?" She said, "You have a 10cm tumor in your Colon, and there are some Cancer cells on your Liver, so we need to do a MRI and Biopsy of your Liver tonight." I had no fear, only wonder, praying "Lord what is all this?"

I had called my husband earlier, and told him I was waiting for the CT Scan results, and I would call him later. I called him back after she left the room. He started crying and said, "That's what I had feared." We prayed and I said, "Don't come to the hospital tonight." I still had to have the MRI and Biopsy. I said, "Just call the Kids for me."

My son called, "I'm on my way."
My daughter called, "Mom, I don't care what the Doctors say, you believe God."
They stayed until it was time for the MRI. Both test confirmed it was Stage four Cancer.

Now home, I began praying:
"Lord, this is not mine to have."
"Lord, let my body line up with your Word."
"Father, remember your Covenant with me, remember your Covenant Promises."
"Lord, what did I do wrong?'
"Forgive Me!!"
"By His stripes I am healed."
I started reading daily this little book called, God's Creative Power for Healing by Charles Capps (God's Medicine)
I would read many, many healing scriptures daily.

Two days later my son and daughter and I met with the Doctor of Oncology (Cancer Specialsts) to go over treatment options. This was the first time I talked with a Doctor who I now assume is a realist. (Truth with no hope, period.)

He informed us that my cancer was advanced. He had discussed possible surgery options with his team of surgeons, and they said it was too risky. They didn't believe they could get all the cancer due to the cancer cells spreading. My only option was aggressive chemo treatments that should start immediately. There would be a total of 12 chemo treatments. Each treatment administered 2 weeks apart. They have no way of knowing how your body will react to the chemo treatments and its side effects. The side effects could be worse than the chemo treatments. Durning this time your quality of life will change. Some of his patients who have advanced cancer choose to opt out of treatments all together and try to live the best life they can with whatever time they have left. He continued with telling us how this particular cancer spreads through the body taking over your vital organs until life ceases. As he continued to talk, he would stare at me, then my son and daughter as if he was waiting for a certain reaction from me. (My best guess is crying hysterically because of the bad report.) Then he asked my son if I understood what he was saying to me. My son replied, "My Mom is a woman of faith, she understands." I told him we could start the chemo treatments. He gave me a binder with all the information regarding chemo treatments and side effects. He then said, "I'm glad to hear you're a Spiritual family, my Spiritual patients seem to do better than those that are not."

Back to work, I informed my Supervisor of the diagnosis. My mind set was to continue working through the process. Only take the days off I needed for chemo treatments. I thank God he was in total agreement.

Before my first chemo treatment my daughter called and said, "Mom we live in Minnesota, why not get a second opinion from the Mayo Clinic in Rochester." I told her, Jimmy and I were thinking the same thing. She said she would call about getting an appointment.

The Doctors at the Mayo Clinic agreed to review all of my test and Doctor's notes within a week to see if they could do anything diffently to help me. If so, they would offer me an appointment.

A week later the nurse called, and yes, they offered me an appointment, and at that time they wanted to do all new testing. The only thing was my appointment wouldn't be for another two months. I agreed to the appointment date and informed her that I would continue with the chemo treatments until then.

God was so merciful to me. My body reacted well to chemo, only weakness at times, and the only side effect was a sensitivity to cold. Again, God was so merciful to me.

After three chemo treatments it was time for my Mayo Clinic appointment. I knew they were going to do a new CT Scan, MRI, and blood test. So I asked God for a good report. Up to that time every report was a bad report. I asked for Him to shew me manifestations of healing taking place in my body.

When the Doctor came in She said, "How many chemo treatments did you have?" I said, "three." She said, "That's really amazing, your tumor has shrunk from 10cm to 4cm, and some of the cancer cells on your Liver have died."
They told me, they wanted me to continue with three more chemo treatments with hopes that the tumor would shrunk even more, before surgery to remove any remaining cancer cells.

Which I did. When I returned and was re-tested the tumor shrunk from 4cm to 2.8cm. The surgery was schueduled for December 2019. After, the Doctor said all signs of cancer had been removed!!! Their were a few spots on my Liver that looked suspicious and I would need to follow up with the remaining six chemo treatments.

Which I also did. The new MRI showed my Liver was cancer free!!!!

***So Many, Many things happen through my process of believing God for healing that I can't write it all, but here's a few:

* I give thanks to the Lord for moving on the heart of Sister Tawanda Ridley, to call together three Churches for a special prayer service for myself and another Great Women of God who was also believing God for healing.
Worldwide Outreach for Christ
True Believers Fellowship
Joint Heirs with Christ Faith International

* The Port, an implant device they put in my chest to recieve my chemo treatments caused a blood clot in my neck. Hospitalized for two days. The blood thinner medication they gave me to remove the blood clot caused the cancer cells on my Liver to bleed. In pain, that still small voice in my ear said, "Believe me through the pain." Hospitalized for a week. All this in between chemo treatments.

* After chemo treatments I would witness to a security guard in the clinic lobby that just moved to Minnesota from Mississippi. On my last chemo treatment I gave him a Bible and prayed for him.

* In a One on One monthly meeting with my Supervisor he asked me, "How are you getting through all of this? I can't see any change in you. If I hadn't seen all your medical reports, I would say you were lying about having Cancer." I told him it was all God, and I began to witness to him about the Lord. He said, he had told his wife about me, and she said I must be a Christian. He said his wife was a Christian but he wasn't. On our next One on One meeting he told me he started going to Church with his wife and he's praying now.

* A co-worker told me she shared my testimony of healing to other people that she knew were sick, and told them to believe God.

* My Doctor the realist, after everything was over, he said this to my husband.
"Your wife's outcome is the outcome I wish for all of my patients. She's in that 5% category of my patients that recover that way. I believe it was your faith."

* Etc........ (so much more)

....I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it. Isaiah 46:11

Believe Him through the process

Luke 5:23
Whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Rise up and walk?

It just came out of nowhere. One day I could go to the bathroom and urinate normally, and the next day it feels like liquid fire coming out.

No money, no medical insurance, and going to the doctor wasn't an option. From my symptoms I assumed I had a bladder infection.

After a few days of crying everytime I had to use the bathroom. I went to the Lord in prayer. Walking around in my apartment praying, "Lord, touch my body. Heal my bladder."

I stopped walking, and laid down on the floor, still praying. When this scripture came to my mind. "Whether is easier, to say, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Rise up and walk?" I began to repent, and ask the Lord to heal my body. When the presence of God filled the room. I felt a warm glow touch my head and move slowly down my body to my bladder, stop and went away.

After, I felt I needed to use the bathroom. I got up, used it, and all the burning pain was gone. "Thank you, Lord" This time I'm crying tears of joy!!

A friend of mine who lives in Abilene Texas wasn't feeling well, and went to a Doctor. She was told that she had Cancer.

They began to explain the regimen of Chemo and various other treatments that she would have to begin immediately. But she told the Doctor that she "believed in God's healing," and that she "believed God was going to heal her," and that she "was going to take none of the treatments."

After a period of time she was tested, and praise God she had no Cancer in her body. She is still after a few years, alive, well, and going about tesifying to the glory of God. All that he has done for her!

Proverbs 23:7
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:....

Exodus 23:25
I will take sickness away from the midst of thee.

Exodus 15:26
I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians:...


I was taken to the hospital on July 4th of this year, (2020) after having a fever and passing out at home. They wound up admitting me that night to the ICU because of some spots on my lungs. They tested me for Covid-19. All the nurses and doctors had to suit up and the Covid was waved over me numerous times. I was not attached to anything but monitors and receiving oxygen.

About the 3rd day the Lord whispered to me the scriptures found in Exodus 23:25 "I will take away all sicknesses from thee..." and Exodus 15:26 "I will put none of these evil diseases that I put upon Egyptians upon you."

Well of course later that day the doctors told my family that I had took a turn for the worse. My husband who was already fasting and praying turned up the prayers even more. My daughter Angel, who is a nurse demanded along with my other daughters and husband, to begin to give me antibiotics, or they were going to move me out of there. They started me on antibiotics and I immediately began to turn back around. Some had told me earlier antibiotics wouldn't do any good for Covid but.... what if I didn't have it. Anyway I started breathing better and they started talking of sending me home.

My family doctor thought it was probably pneumonia, which I had before. I could deal with that. Not with Covid. God knows what I needed to hear, from Him and others. I got to go home with a little oxygen which I quickly got rid of, and to this day I never got the results of that test. The Health Department never contacted me!!!

My message in this testimony is that God wrote that scripture, "as a man thinketh," and it is so true. We will go the way our minds are leading us to go especially in highly stressful situations. God knew I needed to believe with everything in me that I did not have that dreaded disease in order to make it out of there alive. People around me in the ICU were on ventilators. The combination of God speaking His word to me gave me the strength to fight it through when the battle heated up that same day, and then my family, Church and friends sending up prayers continuously for me, and pushing for me at the hospital too. All gave me strength I needed to come out of that trial without the smell of smoke on my clothes, thanks be to God!! I am doing great, did some Hercules size fall cleaning today and I am so thankful to God for the regaining of my strength, and returning to my family.

My kids were still small, but I knew it was time to get back to work. Before I could do that I had to wean myself off the system. The Welfare System - welfare checks, food stamps and the wic program. I prayed about it and decided to start with the wic program first. I went to the store and used up all of my remaining vouchers for gallons of milk. So, when the milk is gone I'm not going back to wic for any more vouchers. I prayed "God be my WIC." Now, mind you, I have a son that is a real milk drinker. A gallon of milk didn't last long in my house.

That day came quick. I put the last of the milk in my son's bottle and it was time to go to Church. I parked the car, took the kids and my diaper bag in the Church. After being in there for a few minutes I couldn't find my son's bottle. Ok, it must be in the car. I quickly run out to the car, and yes there's the bottle. I grab it, close the door and turn to walk back to the Church when this man walks up to me trying to talk. I told him I wasn't interested in getting to know him. That I had just left out of Church because my son needed milk and I came to my car to find his bottle. We stopped talking and I walked into the Church.

Maybe about 30 minutes later that same man walks in looking mad with a paper bag. He walks up to me, puts the bag down hard next to me and says "I want you to know, I bought you that milk and you're a fool for being in this Church," he then turned around and walked out. I lifted my hands and said "Lord I thank you for using the devil to bring me my milk."

Friday evening, I just got off work. Cashed my check, and decided to run in the grocery store to pick up a few things. I grabbed a cart and proceeded down the aisle. When I turned down the second aisle I noticed a crazy looking man at the end of the aisle staring at me. He started following me around the store.

I prayed in my mind and not saying a word, "Lord what is this?"

A still small voice in my ear said, "He wants to rob you."

Fear instantly gripped my heart and the same still small voice said, "I didn't give you a spirit of fear."

I prayed, "Lord what should I do?"

The still small voice said, "Get the food you came in here for."

I tried to regroup myself as he continued to follow me down each aisle.

I prayed again, "Lord I'm done, what should I do?"

The still small voice said, "Pay for your food."

I got in line to pay for my food and the man walked away and stood near the exit door. As he was waiting there a woman came in and stood next to him talking. He pointed at me and they both looked at me. By this time I was next in line to cash out.

I prayed again, "Lord what should I do?"

Not a word. The cashier started ringing up my food. I looked down at my purse to get my wallet out and when I looked back up, the woman the man was talking to had walked right up to me trying to look in my purse. When I caught her eye she turned around.

I prayed again, "Lord what should I do?"

Not a word. I paid the cashier. She bagged my food, which all fit into one bag.

As she was handing me the bag, the still small voice said, "Tell her you want someone to carry out your grocery."

I didn't take the bag. I just looked at her and said, "I want someone to carry out my grocery."

She looked at me with that look, you must be kidding and tried to hand me the bag again.

I repeated, "I want someone to carry out my grocery."

She looked at me weird and then got on the store intercom and called someone.

The man and the woman walked out the door.

I lie not. As I was waiting there, I saw a man come out from the back room that looked like a Black Hercules, muscles everywhere.

He walked up and said with a deep voice, "You want me to carry out your food?"

Grinning from ear to ear I said, "Yes."

I grabbed his arm. He smiled, and we started walking out. He let me go out the door first. They saw me and started walking toward me. My Black Hercules came out next. I grabbed his arm again. When they saw him they stopped in their tracks. They kept staring at him. As he walked me to the car, and opened the car door for me, and put my one bag of grocery in the back seat.

As I drove off, I turned to wave goodbye at the couple still staring at him.

When I pray I always ask for the Holy Spirit to come inside of me. About three months ago while sleeping I had a vision that Jesus was standing next to me and said, "I am with you."

Frightened, I got out of the bed and said to myself, "I have to open the Bible." (I keep a Bible near my bed.) So I just opened the Bible to any page and it opened on the Scripture in St John 20:21-22 where Jesus blew his breath on the disciples and gave them the Holy Spirit.

St John 20: 21-22
Then said Jesus to them again. Peace be unto you: as my Father hath sent me, even so send I you.
And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them. Receive ye the Holy Ghost:

My youngest daughter had been married 8 years, and they had been trying to have a baby. It didn't look like it was going to happen. Then in early 2017 she got pregnant, but sadly miscarried. It just looked like she would never have a baby.

Then a miracle happened for her, at age 32. She was going to a Gynecologist who was working with her, and then in October or November she became pregnant. Her delivery due date was August 23rd.

Everything was going fine and then in early April around the 18th she started showing signs of labor, bleeding, cramps, etc. Her Doctor sent her to a Doctor in Abilene TX. Who then sent her with my husband and I to his friend Doctor T at Ft Worth Harris Methodist Hospital, and said we were to act like an ambulance. (scary)

As we were speeding down Interstate 20, Travis Greene's song 'He made a way' came on Pandora. At the end of the song he was singing how his son came early like 22 weeks or close to that. He started singing how the Doctors said he wouldn't make it, but how they believed God, and how his son was living!!! Lord, how we cried and thanked God. He spoke to us on that highway, in that car. "Lord, you're so good!!!"

When she got there Doctor T performed a Cerclage, gave her drugs and put her in the hospital on total bed rest.

I saw the Doctor looking at her one day pensively, and he patted her arm and told her not to worry that they were having as much success with 22 and 23 weekers as they were with the 26 and 28 weekers. It's like he knew she wasn't going to make it to full term that day.

All my babies were late, and well over 8 pounds so I didn't know how to deal with a micro preemie at all. No one in our family did. So his words were very comforting in a time of the vast unknown.

She stayed on bed rest a couple of weeks but then sure nuff she called and said they were taking her to labor and delivery. KJ was born April 23rd 2018 at 23 weeks and weighed 1.5 pounds.

Would he make it? Would he survive? If he did, there could be so much wrong with him.

He is so strong willed, he just wouldn't wait! He went straight to NICU after being delivered by cesarean. He had no visible problems but his lungs were vastly under developed. From the time he hit NICU he just kept improving with no problems, passing all the tests with flying colors. He kept moving up to less ciritical rooms, and was blessed to have a Nurse move with him to give him special care and love.

My daughter had so much sick time accumulated at her job that she was blessed to stay there with him. Staying at the Ronald McDonald House she was able to come and hold him, feed him, change his diapers, and most importantly read healing scriptures and praying over him every single day of those 4 months he was there. She read to him Psalms 91 everyday and had it printed out over his bed. Many prayers of divine protection. His Dad was blessed to come see him every weekend, and got to hold him and bond with him during his whole stay at the NICU.

KJ came home in August on his original birthdate, still on oxygen but no other problems, and was weaned off that in not to long a time.

God is a wonder. He moves far and above what we could ever think of or believe could happen. We are so thankful and blessed to have this fun loving inquisitive energetic toddler running through our house. We're working on some things, vocabulary and such. We knew there would be some things, that there would be a delay in, but nothing our God can't fix and handle!!!

We thank you Lord for sending his cousin D to watch over him too. He had just passed in 2016 at only 17. KJ has his sweet tooth for sure. We miss D like crazy but we know deep down that he's with the Father and he's more than good. We truly appreciate God for bringing our miracle baby through this great crisis. Nobody but God could have brought a 1.5 pounds 17 weeks early baby home to his loving family in the condition he came home in.

Praise Him!!!!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort;
Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.


On September 4th, 2016 which was Labor Day, my family decided after Church to go to a pond in a neighboring town to celebrate the holiday with a picnic and maybe some swimming. My second oldest Grandson D turned to me at Church and said, "I don't care what anyone says, I'm getting in that water." Those were to be the last words I would ever hear him say.

Everyone left and began making preparations. I had, had something go wrong with my heart on the Thursday before, and so I began contemplating not going. By the time I got home I had decided not to go. I told my husband to go without me but because it was a heart issue, he wanted to stay with me. My heart had really given me problems in the last few days.

The kids all left and I took a nap. I was awakened by a friend of the family saying someone had called her son and said something had happened at the pond and one of my grandsons slipped under the water and everyone was searching for him.

We immediately jumped up and began to drive that way. It was at least an hour away. We had asked the family that called us and our Assistant Pastor and his wife to go with us to help pray for him.

While driving I reached one of my children and they said, they were racing to the hospital in another larger city. So we steadied ourselves and I envisioned what I would see upon arrival. Him hooked to machines I'm sure, but we would pray and it would be ok.

About half way there, I talked to my daughter again and she couldn't go back there but she said, "Mama it doesn't sound good, I can hear my sister hollering and crying." We still held unto hope and rushed towards the hospital. Upon arrival I just saw my family in different stages of shock and disbelief. We were taken back to where he was, and his Mom was in the room with him, but he was gone. Gone, this vibrant loving young man with the ability to get me to do anything for him.

This young man who was graduating next spring and who loved basketball and eating!! Which included a powerful sweet tooth. The brother who was his siblings best friend. Gone.

We came to pray in the breath of life, but it appeared that it was too late for that. They said they had nurses, a fireman, and of course paramedics on the scene. From the time they found him, which really wasn't long, but I'm sure it seemed like an eternity to his family. He never showed any signs of reviving. He was already gone.

One of my good friends said her sister had a near death experience, and said when she told that sister, she saw in the spirit that Jesus just came down and swooped him up out of the water. And I believe that.

A Pastor who was there with his family was crying telling me at the Wake that they have seen other people come back after longer periods of time under the water. That his family worked on him till the paramedics got there but to no avail.

I believe with all my heart that what my friend's sister saw was true. He did come and get him. It was just his time to go with Jesus.

We mere mortals don't like to deal with this at all but when it hits so close to you, you can't help but search for answers. I myself bought books about people who had died and came back and the things that they saw and experienced. I had to know down in the deepest part of me that where he went to is better than being with us. But it really doesn't help much because it's your love one and all you know is that you want them there with you.

It is a time where you go through all the stages of grief. I watched different members of the family go through it differently. All traumatically, to the point where we really still don't talk about it five years later. We can laugh about things he said or did. But we really don't get into the serious stuff.

We have members of the family that dived, and dived, and dived trying to find him. People that didn't know him tried to save him. But one young man we didn't know wouldn't quit till he found him, and I'm thankful for that truly. He spared the family of even more grief.

D's Mom, his Mom, his Mom, I still pray for her. She's better but I know sometimes she struggles. I said, "Lord why did they all have to be there to see it?' His Mom, his Dad, his beloved 2 Brothers, his almost twin Sister, Aunts, Uncles and even younger Cousins. But God has helped and brought each one of them through it. It's taken time though.

We all felt a sense of guilt for one reason or another. For me, cause I wasn't there, but I felt I probably wouldn't have survived the day with my health issues at the time, it wouldn't have been good.

Back home, the community rallied around us and helped his Mom and Dad with the funeral expenses and burial resting place, which truly was a blessing. The funeral became standing room only at a 400+ Church.

After, as I was going through a particularly bad time, I was looking for something in my nightstand and just happened to come across a prophecy to me that I had written almost exactly 20 years before saying. Our family was going to go through a tragedy but that He would bring us through it. It went on to say some other things but the thing that stood out most to me was that it said, "this was something that had to take place so that all things could be."

That's in God's plan, that we don't quite know about but is another opportunity to learn and trust in Him. Not easy to do when you are hurting so terribly, but the Bible says Jesus learned obedience through the things that he suffered, so you just try and bear it.

The prophecy also said, "my heart would be wrenched but when I called on Him, He would ease the pain." My heart is physically hurting writing this, but I know as I call on Him he'll fix it.

Some people turn away from God at these times, when tragedy strikes, but I can't. The Bible says that the rain falls and the sun shines on the just and the unjust. Sometimes you just got to deal with it in that fashion. The difference between us is that when something bad happens to us, we got a strong tower to run into. We have someone who is a ever present help in the time of need. He'll bless you to be strong for others in the midst of the battle.

It still hurts but as spoken in the Word, the sting of death is gone. Sad yes! Awful, yes, but bearable. You can keep your sanity. Eventually you can smile again. And with God's help you can move on some way without them. You don't want to but God lets you know it's ok taking it day by day.

Right after he passed I went out to the cemetery to talk to him, cause I kept trying in the days before but there was always people around. I told him how very, very sorry this had happened to him, and his time here was cut short. I went back a couple of times and as I was driving up the 4th time God spoke to me and said, "why are you searching for the living among the dead?" That gave me great comfort.

I just had to know he was ok. I mean had to. He was going through a lot of changes before he died and I just had to know he was at peace and was being loved on. He was so sweet and it is just hard when someone dies like that, you want to help and make things better but now it's out of your hands forever. But I had God's assurances that he was good and that's all I needed.

Dreams came quickly of him laying his head on me watching TV and smiling. Other family members started having good dreams. God helped us tremendously to which I will forever be grateful. I pray for my family that they will not have any residual trauma in their lives, and I believe God will help at each juncture for each person. Another breath, another day. Looking ahead for bright sun filled days.